I really need to stop buying instruments and start playing them.  Last week, I came across an orphaned 2012 Fender Deluxe Jazz Bass in a (pop-up) window and thought it inhumane not to give her a good home.  So, let’s call it an act of charity.  I’m selfless that way.

But, in full disclosure, this wasn’t an impulse buy.  If we scribbled out a Venn diagram, featuring every artist that ever influenced my musical dementia, there would appear a dark area – smart people with abbreviations after their names call this the “intersection” – of instruments that are common among them.  When it comes to the low notes, Fender’s Jazz Bass (or “J Bass”) occupies that space. [Thank you, Equipboard.com.]  But it’s a surprise when you consider that most of my musical influences are considered “electronic” artists.  Can you blame me for taking an age to realize that the low-frequency sounds I subconsciously desire don’t come from a synthesizer?

For this epiphany, I should also thank Dan Thompson, my Critical Listening instructor at the Berklee College of Music.  Prior to Dan’s tutelage, I couldn’t identify a guitar from a drum with my eyes closed – let alone, a Fender Jazz Bass from a Precision Bass.  Or when a mix is raised 3 dB at 12 kHz vs. 16 kHz.  Dan rewired my brain.  In a good way.  If you’re a fellow DIY musician or otherwise engage in this occultish business of sound, I strongly recommend his courses.

Duck, sucka!
Duck, sucka!

Getting back to the program, no, I don’t have time to learn yet another instrument, but no self-respecting bass player will work with me.  It’s the price I pay for being a sociopathic control freak.

Thankfully, a bass is tuned like a guitar (with the top two strings missing), so I’m hoping to have a leg up on the fundamentals.  And – let’s be clear – my ambitions are modest.  This is industrial music I’m making – not prog rock.  If you’re looking for a ten-minute bass solo in the penta-mixophrygian mode, then prepare yourself for deep, dark disappointment.  I’m not your guy.  Not yet, anyways.  Or, maybe ever.  We’ll see where this journey takes us.

Wish me luck.

Time to go practice.

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